My first blog

Hello there,
its been almost 5 months since my fiancé left and went back to Afghanistan from his 2 week leave.Saying good bye the second time is the hardest.The pain you feel having to say goodbye to the one you love and not exactly know if you will see them again is awful.Im young almost 18 but the moment i met nicholas i knew he was the one for me.He makes my life something it has never been even with the distance he still makes me feel beautiful and special.He supports me through this deployment as much as i support him.I dont think anybody knows exactly what its like to be without someone they love have them somewhere you know nothing about and not know if they will get hurt.Ive learned to trust in God and believe that he will take care of nick for me even though i cant.

To explain nick hes from a small town with a great family who loves him very much.He has the cutest 2 and a half year old son.He is the most selfless person i have ever met.When he was home on his two week leave he did things for his friends and family.He let his friends borrow money knowing he probably would never get it back.He has the most beautiful blue eyes and a smile that could light up a room.His smile is contagious.He is 21 and dreams of being an MMA fighter.He has had a not so easy life but he turned it all around and became a man everyone is proud of.He seems to find good in people that dont have much at all. He hates chocolate and is obsessed with Arnold Palmers.We have a dog named willow.He is in the National Guard and was deployed not to long after he got home from AIT ..We are supposed to get married in June.

When he first arrived for his leave the travel got all messed up.He ended up taking a taxi from the airport to our house which is pretty far away.We spent everyday together doing different things and being a family.Waking up to someone for so long and then having them be gone is a punch in the gut.I havent had a good nights rest since the day he left.My friends try being supportive and being there but nobody really knows the right thing to say they dont know exactly what to say to help and i dont hold it against them.When the deployment first started i had alot of anger and depression. I was angry of people who got to see and hold the one they love everyday i was jealous they got to have that time when i had and still have to wait so long.Im getting better each day and without him being there to support me things would still be pretty bad.I find alot of comfort in talking to other people who are with someone who is deployed or have ever been in my shoes its nice seeing how they have gotten through it and it gives me inspiration that things will get better.

Nicholas will miss my 18th birthday and he will miss thanksgiving.Thats something i think about alot.To my family thanksgiving is pretty important and it wont be the same without him here.Ofcourse nobody wants someone they love to miss their birthday but ill have plenty of other birthdays hopefully he will be here for them.Well this is my first Blog just giving you a taste of Nicholas and of myself.There will be more to come.feel free to email me if you have any advice or just wanna talk about your spouse being deployed.
Thanks
Kassie


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